If Jack Bauer Was On......Grey's Anatomy During the Bomb Episode

Note: This is a new column exploring how our favorite hero Jack Bauer would react on other television shows and in real life situations.


Alex: "This patient has live ammunition in him."
Dr. Jack Bauer: "How the heck did he get that in him? Tell me what I need to know!"
Alex: "His friend shot him with a bazooka."
Jack: "Son of a *****. This man is a moron. He doesn't deserve my attention."

(Alex leaves. Jack approaches Hannah and the patient).

Hannah (the one with her hand in the patient): "You know you could be a little nicer. I'm sure it was just an accident."
Jack: "That's unacceptable. He knew the risks in operating a bazooka. He should have taken the necessary precautions."
Hannah: "Still, you don't have to act like that Dr. House on television."
Jack: "When I'm done with this operation you will wish you worked for him."

(Jack and company wait for the bomb squad to arrive. They finally do.)

Bomb Squad Guy: "Why do you have your hand stuck in him?"
Jack (interrupting): "She doesn't know what she's doing, that's why. I can't live with this incompetence."
Hannah: "Fine, do it yourself. I'm out of here." (She runs out of the room. Jack quickly replaces her hand.)

Bomb Squad Guy: "I'm going to go get another doctor since you are a little preoccupied."
Jack: "No you won't. I'm not going to have another inept doctor work on this case. I'll do it myself.

(Jack somehow finishes the operation with his one free hand. He hands the bomb to the bomb guys. He follows them out the door.)

BOOM! (bomb squad guy blows up).

Jack (screaming): "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

(Jack mourns for awhile but gets back to work on the finishing touches of the surgery. He hits a rough stretch near the end; the patient is nearly dead).

Jack (frantically applying shock therapy): "Don't die on me."

(The patient dies. Jack cradles his patient for awhile but eventually gets over it. He sets out to interrogate the man's buddy.)

Jack (interrogating the friend): "You shot him on purpose, didn't you?"
Friend: "No, I swear. It was an accident."
Jack: "Cooperate with me or you will be in as much pain as your friend was."
Friend: "I said it was just an accident."
Jack: "It wasn't and you know it." (He starts to get animated) "TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO KNOW!!!!!!!!!" (screaming and knocking over his desk).
Friend: "Alright, alright. I caught him cheating with my wife. I meant to kill him."
Jack: "George, take him away. He'll be getting a nice prison cell."

So, what did you think? Was this fan fiction corny or did you enjoy it? Which show do you want me to place Jack in next? Feel free to discuss in the comments section.